I found it really refreshing the other day when a dear friend of mine nonchalantly expressed that he was sad. He said it in such a way that it seemed he did not need to know why he was sad. He just leaned in and allowed himself to feel. I never realised that was a possibility. Whenever I feel something, I almost immediately prescribe the cause of my feeling. Maybe I've worked too hard, accomplished too little. It might be that I've not been sleeping well. That weird dish I made for dinner. Or something he said. Perhaps the anxiety about getting back to 'normal' and what that means. No it's most definitely because of the nagging pain in my hips... The reality is that it might be all of that entangled within a singular feeling we particularly relate to for a brief moment. Or none of it. It's almost as if my friend recognised this truth and simply acknowledged his feeling, trusting whatever comes will also pass. This space between feeling and recognising is something I am presently pondering upon, in an attempt to untangle the immediacy of labelling. We are a web of wonder after all, from our ocean of thoughts to our complex and layered physiological self.

A selection of Chinese proverbs I think of upon spring and my personal take on them at present... Remember the source of your joy, abundance or success. Every season has its unique charms, as does every person. Take time to recognise this. Unconditional love and kindness cannot be repaid, but can be embodied in gratitude. When beauty or inspiration blooms in abundance, ushering vibrance with a new wave of energy. Let your senses guide you through the experience of time and change. Do you have a favourite? Would love to learn any other beautiful sayings you know of and especially interested in how different cultures depict spring. Please do share!

I spent the last day of 2023 honing in on how I'd like to feel in the new year. This moodboard is a collection of visuals I was drawn to in the passing. As the year of the Wood Dragon is soon approaching, I'm sharing some contemplation upon these images : There are no strangers, just potential friends. Read slower. Stay on the page a little longer. Honour tea as portal. Take smaller steps. Question up close, what you were told to never question. Schedule more life into your day. Practise consistency. The creative eye before the critical eye. Youth is a state of mind. Practise gratitude often to those who helped you along the way. Home is the most sacred place to return to. Allow yourself to outgrow things. Wear the damn thing. P(l)ay attention. See the poem in the problem. Take space. Hold silence. The wound is also the place where the skin reencounters itself, asking of each end, where have you been? Notice. Nature is near. Nature is accessible. Nature is everywhere. Lean into the collective. You cannot do it all. Stop curating. Start creating. Maintain your anchor while moving with others. Do the imagining. Don't be the idea. Share always. What might be mundane to you, others can find inspiration in. Gather with intention. Say no otherwise. Stay with a story. Revisit it. Let the possibility of a different experience arising. Were there any you resonated with? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

What if I just stayed in Malaysia? Time and again, my mind wanders to this place. It’s particularly present at the moment, being surrounded by stories of migration over #ESEAHM2023. A story in particular shared the similarities of moving to a new place (to whatever extent) to the process of propagation. The sense of displacement can be jarring and it takes time to take root. And I don’t think 17 year old me realised that. I just learnt to make do, to push through. I don’t regret leaving at all, in fact I do appreciate the life I’ve carved out over 6500 miles away from where home was. Where family still is. I just don’t quite think I fully understood just what I would be losing as I gain in other ways. The number of years I’ve lived in the UK is slowly equaling the number of years I’ve lived in Malaysia. While certain parts of me have become increasingly distant, I’ve also discovered new sides to David including a deepened connection to my birth name 家伟. This I don’t think would have happened if not for distance from my birth country. Appreciation is truly bittersweet in that sense. I’ve learnt that home can exist in many places. And if anything, I’m grateful that my world has been made bigger from my experience of migration. So much to process and reflect upon, and I’m grateful that September has now become a time for me to sit with this complexity, brewing in the nurturing company of others who’ve been on similar journeys. Find out more about East & South East Asian Heritage Month in the UK.

Where does curiosity lie in practice? In most movement practices, we learn by repeatedly embodying certain established forms. Yogis practice traditional postures (asana), ballet dancers work with arm and feet positions from the first to fifth, martial arts including qigong and wushu have stances mostly inspired by animals and nature. We familiarise ourselves with these forms in hopes of deeper understanding from the outside in. They are, after all, tangible points of entry for most learners, quite necessary points in the same way we needed to understand letters and basic grammar when learning a language. These forms are clear physical markers we can keep aspiring to achieve, however should not be mistaken as the only metric of ‘success or progress’ in practice. Doing so will only lead to frustration as our capacity to enter these forms are largely bound by our physical build and range of motion. We can develop strength and mobility, even modify our frame to an extent by bulking up or slimming down, but we ultimately have what we have due to the finality of our musculoskeletal structure. This is why many of us experience phases of stagnancy, being in a ‘rut’ or a falling out of love for practice. We either feel like we have ‘achieved' the aspired form, or got to a point where we felt we could not progress any further within the form. Yet some individuals seem to be endlessly curious in their practices, whatever their discipline is. They have found a way to keep their practices interesting. How so? Start by recognising that postures need not be final destinations. They can be tangible starting points for us to question the physical and expressive capabilities of our body from a place of agency and autonomy. When we think of forms as elements that constitute a roadmap for practice, we are also encouraging a less hierarchical practice by drawing focus away from a certain peak posture. We establish a more circular and cyclical relationship with practice, where emphasis is less on the arriving of postures, but an ongoing dance incorporating postures individual to our own curiosities. Practice in this way utilises a currency we can all access. Energy. The quality of motion is where the experience of practice can feel infinite beyond a checklist of forms to get through. If anything, it’s also more accessible precisely because its very nature of subjectivity transcends the degree of ableism in our bodies yet taps into a much deeper, instinctual incentive to move. Beautiful moment moving with everyone at Barcelona Yoga Conference. Think of movement as painting, through space as the canvas. There’s a clear palette of primary colours we can start with, between which we can mix to create a new shade. Even if we stick to just one shade, say the colour red, we can also mix it with water to access a whole spectrum of red. This nuanced play of colours allow a more realistic rendering of an image on a flat canvas, all the more relevant in the context of movement where we can play with varying shades of efforts as three-dimensional beings in three dimensional space. If you’re more logical in thought, forget painting as metaphor and consider exploring movement through effort percentages. For example, how does it feel to backbend at 20% effort as compared to 50%? They are both valid interpretations within our full scale of expression, away from the binary construct of on/off, active/passive, dis/engaged. Think less 0/100. Think more 0-100. The percentages in between present great opportunities for practice, infinite in a sense where you can explore in 10s, 1s or even decimals, developing a richness of response in practice. It is important to clarify that all of this is not just to indulge and affirm those who like a good wiggle in class. This absolutely applies to the level of agency we can find even within form, what it means to find dynamic stillness and investigate the tiniest degree of becoming upon every breath. Ultimately, this is an invitation to practise listening to our changing states and become more sensitive and intentional in choosing our level of effort appropriate for our practice on a daily basis than to default to 100% all the time. This is important because we quite literally become what we choose to do daily. How we choose to move daily. The process of becoming is inevitable with the passage of time. Gravity will also always act upon us. However, we can choose to play with this process. We can choose to be dynamically becoming. To have greater awareness in the way we choose to move daily is to have more choice or influence over the person we become. In physical practice, start with these questions… How can you feel more at home within these forms? Where can I move to from this form to find pleasure? What do I want to feel within this form? We will explore this in greater detail during my upcoming workshop in London… The Dynamics of Becoming 29th July 2.30-5pm UKT In person and online Book Here We will look at the way in which we inhabit and pass through form. How we work with tension, gravity and speed, alongside other intangible aspects of practice that could be a little more challenging to articulate. The workshop is particularly relevant to movers and movement teachers (of any disciplines) looking to explore and facilitate the nuances of energy, of moving between. How we can articulate the ‘vinyasa’ aspect of asana practice more tangibly without dogma as well as arbitrariness. Leading up to the workshop, you’re also welcome to participate in my weekly classes at MISSION where I offer my signature class Beyond Asana, developed very much based on this perspective. If you’d like to experience this from a far, check out my Beyond Asana classes on demand. Utilise SUMMER15 for discounted access valid til the end of this weekend (16 July).

davidkamkiawei.com It's been a labour of love this one. Years in the making, upon deep reflection of how to most truthfully translate my energy, ethos and the spirit of my work online. After all, I see this website as an extension of my physical self. The entire process was for sure a gratifying mindful experience as well as a playful exercise in how I identify myself, how I view my work. How I can even to choose to do so. Here are some of the considerations I've made in creating this virtual home : It's about the Journey from the very beginning I wanted this space to be an experience of calm and mindfulness in itself before anything else. This is important to me because if anyone were to make a decision to engage with my work or invest in my offerings, I would hope for them to do so from a place of clear mind. How Accessibility is really facilitating Connection I personally connect better audiovisually, which is why I shared a video of myself speaking about this website for others to get a clearer sense of who I am as a person beyond words. Other supporting videos and images across the website serve the same purpose, offering more information on the unspoken, intangible aspects of me. Recognising Power in my words This website definitely contains a lot more writing than the usual website you might expect. It is something I was advised against, but persevered in the hope that my words can leave a trail of depth in thought. I was also very conscious about my language, my choice of words. Making sure I refrain from words that reinforce capitalism and scarcity, instead using words that encourage the idea of circularity and longevity. It's in the building of Trust I created this website as if a virtual forest you can wander in and upon every visit, gaining a deeper insight of who I am and what I do. It may be longer-winded and less direct towards selling my offerings, however I'm invested in cultivating long-term trust with those who come by, and the offerings are a welcome bonus. It's how Boundaries can be set As much as this website is created to serve those who come across my work, it is also an anchor for myself to remember who I am and a point for me to repeatedly return to as I continue to grow. Doing so has allowed for greater clarity for both parties, ensuring that those who engage do so from the most intentional place. Including a practice of Gratitude The one thing I knew I’ve wanted to include from the outset is space to honour the people who’ve been significant catalysts along my journey. Also made sure to share my story, my journey at length for others to understand how I got to where I am now. To celebrate the launch of my new website... I'd love to offer 40% off any on demand videos over the bank holiday weekend. Simply enter FIRSTVISIT upon checkout. Valid until 29 May. Check out my on demand videos here. Drop by this virtual forest and let me know how it works for you across different devices. Feedback very welcome. davidkamkiawei.com Gratitude to Outpost Studio for bringing this vision to life, Des Iles Photography for providing most of the beautiful imagery and my wonderful brother who designed my logo.

I really love this idea of our inner sparkle. The sparkle you quite literally see in your eyes when you 're doing something that you're passionate about, when you're in love or when you simply feel alive. That is the theme of an upcoming retreat I will be facilitating alongside social justice educators and yoga teachers Jacoby Ballard and Susanna Barkataki. We are holding space for queer or trans identifying individuals to come with us to Kripalu in Massachusetts where we have a weekend of... loving kindness as a practice of fierce protection moving as expression, moving towards freedom play and collective rest exploring and queering asana practice countering cultural appropriation and honoring yoga's roots This is not something we're pitching, but something we invite you to come and reimagine with us. So join us in this space of care and connection, heart and expression. Please share away with anyone who might resonate with this. Express your Sparkle : A Queer and Trans Yoga Retreat June 9–11, Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health

Reflection. I first watched EEAAO on my 30th birthday last year. 16th May. 165. Also the number of awards EEAAO has picked up over this film season. I’ve since watched EEAAO 5 times. The last time with my family back in Malaysia. My dad fell asleep and my mum looked confused for most of it. But my siblings somewhat enjoyed it. I tear up every single time.

There are obvious why’s… a coming out story, the mother-daughter relationship, a household banter most realistic to my own (finally), the immense pride to witness my childhood idol from home shine in the multitude of her talents. 

But mostly because of how oddly comfortable I felt amidst the chaos and absurdism of it all. The film felt like the grandest gesture of empathetic witnessing. I’ve never felt so understood as a queer person treading multicultural, multiethnic, multidisciplinary experiences. This is the reality of my everyday. I spent years so preoccupied on the where. Where I belong. Where I supposedly head towards. Where is the niche everyone is asking me to develop. And the film reminded me that everywhere is an option too, and that I don’t have to succumb to the pressure to be pigeonholed by my identity, including my talent and interests. The awards were less a symbol of winning, but a recognition that in-betweenness and non-linearity can equally be seen as excellent. And that the standard need not necessarily default to looking to the west. Or the east. That both and between is valid too. Thank you for one heck of a Googly eye in the form of this film. Everything Everywhere All At Once Thank you for deeply seeing and representing those in between.

This family portrait means the world to me. We took this on our last trip to Malaysia. I laugh at the way Wayne was easily towering over my entire family, and that the photographer took a while trying to figure out where best to place him. But really, these images will always remind me of how my family has wholeheartedly come to accept him as one of us. It hasn’t been straightforward but this is where we are now. This invitation is the biggest gift I could have asked for. An outcome I wouldn’t have even considered possible when I first came out because I was only surrounded by stories of disownment or if any positive ones, stories of Western families and not of a family like mine. I hope by sharing these images, those of you who need could see that #queerjoy is possible. Or more significantly, that Queer joy can coexist with #ESEAjoy. So we can wonder… What if it turns out okay? What if it turns out better than okay?

Isn't this bizarre? Allocated territorial circles in an open space for us to safely maintain distance. The funny thing is... How much this reminded me of a yoga class, just with mats instead of circles. You may have noticed I've gone without a mat in our weekly virtual practice, and that I've shared matless offerings over several occasions in the past. As useful as a mat can be, whether as a metaphor for entering a 'safespace' or for the practicality of working with a softer surface, it can very much limit the possibilities we see in movement. Not just directions, but the sheer size of our movements. How can we truly embody freedom when we contain ourselves within a limited space? “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Vicktor Emil Frankl (Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist) Much of this year has drastically sharpened our spatial awareness, though mostly from a lens of caution. I hope that class this weekend celebrates our heightened awareness into a way of being, seeing and moving more expansively, towards freeing our lenses towards one of exciting possibilities. Mixed movement practices, between which we contemplate in writing, in drawing, in conversation, whichever and whenever you fancy. Make sure you bring along some pen and paper. I vividly remember chatting with a dear friend on how the idea of 'social distancing' can be misleading, when what is meant is more 'physical distancing'. Yes we need to keep a good distance between our physical selves but that does not mean we refrain from connecting with others. This is what I cherish from our weekly gatherings. We may be physically apart, yet more deeply connected than ever to each other. Thank you for your presence, your trust and everlasting support. I appreciate you. David

"The wound is also the place where the skin reencounters itself." - Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous I lean upon these words by to stay hopeful. It’s #InternationalDayofHappiness today, however I must acknowledge that joy can coexist with the devastation and overwhelm I've felt to be hearing stories across the globe where those who share my skin have been hurt. Those around them who are still hurting. Those whose lives, ambitions and dreams have been cut short by the actions of another. My thoughts have been with them this past week, feeling as much rage as an Asian as the guilt I feel as a man of privilege amidst the simple joys of a sunny weekend. I am hopeful that these 'wounds' will not be for nothing. That they serve as catalysts for how we reencounter ourselves as a human race, and how we redefine what peace, unity and equality means. I hope that we will reencounter complexities as something we look into and not shy away from. That real solutions will surface from greater solidarity and radical action. That we will reevaluate our participations as global citizens. That social justice and activism will no longer be buzzwords, but something deeply embodied in every single one of us. I hope that we will remember just how fiercely we can love. Let us be that change. Starting from the body. Classes this week will be free for all ESEA folx, with encouragement for non-ESEA folx to sponsor these places. Book Here. Resources How to navigate #StopAsianHate and keep the conversation going. Read : The Atlanta Shootings Fit into a Long Legacy of Anti-Asian Violence in America. (Time) Donate : their stories and directly give back to the families of the Atlanta shooting. (NBC News) Donate : #hateisavirus CommuNITY action fund. (HateIsAVirus) Read : Joint response to the Call for Evidence on Ethnic Disparities and Inequality in the UK. (JointReport) Participate : Help map, quantity and give your experience of hate crime in a national hate crime survey for East and Southeast Asians by CASVIC. (Hackney Chinese) Sign : Petition to stop depicting East and Southeast Asians in Coronavirus related media. (besea.n) Donate : Save the London Chinese Community Centre. (Just Giving) Soon the rainbow will follow. I know it. To my ESEA folx, my sxsters across the world, I love you. 💛 Image by @sh.vets

If you have been joining me in class virtually, you'd know that a part of the signup process involves a simple question... What are you grateful for? Over the months of reading your shares, I've witnessed how gratitude comes... ...in the simple things. Feeling open hearted. The variety of choices available to me. Not being afraid. Early morning training. Live music. Real live music. That my foot healed after 3 weeks of not doing any sport. That it's Sunday! You have no idea how happy I am to get all my paperwork in order. For my strength. Wallace and Gromit. Croissants with my coffee. The wonderful things right here around me : my family, crap tv, soft blanket, full belly... Chain grease for my bike. To have a large enough space for yoga and dancing in quarantine. Hot chocolate that my flatmate made. A day for rest and space. Coffee served in bed. A hammer. An old chair leg and 300 allium bulbs. Peaceful moments in nature. That I don't have any plans! Manulife dark roast peanut butter on cholla bread. ...in the beauty of connection. Waking up snuggled next to the one I love. Finally making time for your class. Coffee, cats, my mum. Delivery services in the UK. My breath, your wisdom and life. The smile of people I get to help somehow. My lovely, amazing friends. Jokes with my little sister. Time with my family. Sharing this class for the first time with my sister. The glow of showcasing others. Marie Kondo. Biden's win. Long chats with friends. Time for myself. My home. Love and support from the people that matter. Affordable international shipping. The power you give me. Being here to share this practice with you. Thank you for your beautiful NHS yoga sessions! A return to giving. Being a part of joy. ...in seasonal changes. Sunshine on my back. Blue skies. The start of a new season. Rain, cold, leaves. Autumn rituals. Trees in autumn. A clear morning sky and trees from my window. Woodlands and fresh air. The sun is back after very dark days. Gloves. The snow and my hometown in the mountains with my friends. ...shifts. Reaping the benefits of making bold decisions. Ripple effects. Opening doors and starting new conversations. The start of new learning opportunities. Onwards. To be alive. An opportunity to reset. Freedom found in focus. For having space to inquire about myself. Ideas. Possibility. Projects. Widening the spotlight. There's no question this year has been an unforgettable one, for better or worse. Let us celebrate our power of gratitude. The way we always manage to find wins whatever life throws us. The same way our ancestors share with us stories of joy over periods of war and hardship. Love, David